91d6e969

#3 International Women's Day 2024 -Event Suggestions

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 18:32:20 GMT

International Women's Day 2024

Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

#3 Event Suggestions: From Willingness to Impact

From the most basic event, to complex, multi-agency conferences, wherever you are on the willingness, data, impact journey - here are some suggestions of activities that could take you from box-ticking to making a difference.

> Willingness

Level One: Evidence and research tell us that women experience all kinds of barriers to employment, charitable support, transport, wealth, housing and political representation that are different to their male peers. To understand this, we must first show a WILLINGNESS to understand the situation. Could IWD 2024 be your chance to do that?

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could you create a bold campaign that shows your new attitude towards your willingness to understand the experiences of the women and/or girls with whom you operate, employ, engage or support? Could you use your event to launch your campaign and use a hashtag in your socials that boldly sets you up to being open to whatever you find #PoshPaintsWhereWomenMatter

> Data

Level Two: If you don’t already have DATA to look at, information that tells you something, or gives you statistics to draw from, can you use IWD 2024 as a launch day to START COLLECTING it? This is one thing that could make a REAL difference to the women who interact with you.

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could you use your IWD event to ask your employees, followers, members or beneficiaries some pertinent questions? Could you run a workshop, do a survey, hold a poll or host a drop-in to speak to women about their experiences and whether there is anything they would recommend you change to improve their experiences of you?

Level Three: Have you found some potential BIAS in your data? – are you struggling to recruit young women? Are women not returning after maternity leave? Are your experienced women leaving around 50? Is your Board made up of more men than women? Is your workforce mostly men? Are your followers only women? Are your donors only women? Are the vocal people in your WhatsApp group only men?

Can you adjust your data collection to make sure you properly UNDERSTAND THE IMPACT the possible bias is having, if any? Can you use IWD 2024 to give you the confidence to look all women in the eye and say that the bias does or doesn’t matter?

EVENT SUGGESTION: Can you bring people together to ask them questions about whether bias is having an impact on your organisation’s success? Share your data findings and come clean that you simply DON’T KNOW whether the bias is causing a problem and that, in order to show allyship, you WANT to know. Could you use your event to start to co-produce solutions?

Level Four: Can you PUBLISH YOUR FINDINGS? Women CANNOT entirely win the war of bias simply with their brilliance when the societies they live in operate under unknown bias being perpetuated, unseen, unheard and un-spoken. If we are to see a real shift towards equality, businesses, organisations, communities and networks can show allyship by, sharing their data findings and how bias impacts their activities. If we can pool all this data, we can make REAL change.

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could you hold an information event ABOUT your findings. Can you market your event as a SOLUTION finding exercise. Be a role model for change, lead the way in being courageous? Could you collaborate with other organisations like yours? Can you create an industry-wide event, or multi-agency discussion about finding solutions or changing culture?

> Impact

Level Five: At the most basic of levels, can your event showcase the incredible female talents of your organisation, network or membership? Whether they are current people, or people from history, can you showcase women who have, or who are, changing and challenging the impact of inequality?

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could you hold your event around a subject involving the impact of inequality and highlight the skills, talents and achievements of the women to whom the subject relates? ‘We can’t be who we can’t see’ - your event might inspire others to follow in the footstep of other brilliant women.

Level Six: Are you in a position to CREATE AN ALLYSHIP NETWORK that goes BEYOND traditional women’s networks and brings men into the forefront of the conversation about IMPACT, and levelling-up the experiences of women with whom you interact?

It is impossible (see Blogs on Power) for women to achieve real equality without the very specific and concerted allyship of men. Not because there’s anything inherently wrong with women, or because they need to be ‘saved’ by men (ahem), but simply because the odds are so strongly stacked against them. If you’ve looked at your data, understood the impact and recognised that men and women need to work together to solve the problem, then your event could launch an Allyship Network – or at least start to talk about the need for one.

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could you launch a men’s allyship network or a men’s allyship event on IWD 2024? It could be as simple as a social media poll or as big as a full scale conference. Anything on that spectrum gives the message that men MUST be part of the solution to women’s inequality and that you, and the organisation you represent are “in”.

Level Seven: Can you get involved in WIDER INITIATIVES beyond your organisation? Finding solutions within your organisation is fantastic and will improve women’s experiences with YOU. But the inequality women experience exists across wider society, in all aspects of women’s lives. So, can you extend your allyship to understanding the broader issues?

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could your event be a fundraising event for community groups who campaign for women or create grass-roots change? Or for organisations that support women who have experienced domestic abuse, poverty, refugee status? Could your event help in raising awareness of important issues? Could you host the event with a celebrity, a political leader or someone who can draw the attention of the masses?

Level Eight: If your network, organisation, business or agency is already all over this subject, could you use your influence to create a central hub around which different agencies come together to TAKE COLLECTIVE ACTION or campaign for change? Could you USE that influence for even greater good beyond your own impact? Could you show allyship by role-modelling what ‘good’ looks like?

EVENT SUGGESTION: Could you use the event to invite people who don’t usually get involved in this subject? Could you hold a panel event, a challenging debate? Or pose a problem to an interactive workshop of people from different industries, organisations or cultures? Do you have a ‘reach’ with an audience on one subject, and could you use that reach to raise awareness, ask people to pledge or take action, raise funds or collectively campaign?

Summary

Regardless of where we are on the willingness, data, impact journey , we all have a responsibility to make our International Women’s Day events part of the solution for women and step away from perpetuating the problems because we are simply ignorant of the facts.

There are many ways in which our IWD events can show Allyship. Because allyship is the central tenet of change for women.

What will YOU do?

Marianne Storey

www.storeyland.co.uk I @StoreylandCoaching

@DorsetWomenCICChair I @DorsetWomen I dorsetwomen.org.uk

#2 International Women's Day 2024 -Why We need to #ActivateAllyship

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 18:16:11 GMT

International Women's Day 2024

Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

#2 Why #ActivatingAllyship is more important than #InspiringInclusion

What can transform International Women’s Day (IWD) events from being well-intended inclusion events to becoming events that make real change?

For me, the difference lies in re-focusing the event on allyship. Allyship that starts with looking first at ourselves and our own organisations, networks and communities, and being prepared to be honest and transparent about what we find. THIS requires a shift of mindset away from deafness and defensiveness and towards openness and learning.

This shift of mindset is an active choice and can only come about by making a focused decision to do it.

It shows that we are prepared to experience discomfort to be part of a solution and to stop perpetuating a problem. Without this very first baby step towards allyship for change, our event will, most likely, be about serving some other purpose than actually creating change for women. And that, of course, is absolutely fine. Just so long as we know that is what we are doing.

3 Steps to making your IWD event about #ActivatingAllyship .

WILLINGNESS > DATA > IMPACT

WILLINGNESS – How willing are we to understand inequality?

The first step towards our events being allyship events is the willingness to stop ourselves and our planning teams in their enthusiastic tracks and consider (a) what exactly is the problem here that we are attempting to solve by hosting these events? (b) Are we willing to consider that bias might be affecting our OWN organisations in ways we hadn’t considered? And are our events about that? Or are we making them about something else less meaningful? (c) Are we willing to care enough, be bold enough, or be open enough to take action towards solving a REAL problem? (d) Are we avoiding change because we’re fearful of something we’re not talking about?

Real allyship starts with the willingness to understand the situation. It requires an open, growth mindset and a show of solidarity where there might still be uncertainty. Saying ‘I don’t know, but I want to know’ is often harder than pretending we DO know or burying our heads in the sand. The first step towards change, is adopting a new mindset of willingness to know the reality.

Before it’s too late, let’s ask ourselves and our planning teams some questions about willingness. Are we willing to be real, willing to be part of a solution? Are we willing to change direction and do something different? Something bolder? Something braver?

DATA – What information can we use to understand the facts?

The second component to allyship in our IWD events, is making sure we are working with the facts. And that starts with data, statistics, and information . Do we have DATA we can get our hands on? Is there already research in our ‘field’ that we need to look at? Have we even thought to look? And, importantly, do we look at our data broken down by sex or gender? Do we check whether the data we base decisions on is broken down by sex or gender?

The first, and most important thing we can do for IWD events is to be curious and brave enough to ask ourselves questions about whether there is bias in our OWN organisation or activities.

What is the gender split of our members, employees, volunteers, followers, constituents, residents or beneficiaries? And can we look at age and other protected characteristics? Do we have data that might tell us whether men and women have different experiences of us? Are women or girls avoiding us? Leaving us? Experiencing difficulties interacting with us? Being heard? Having unequal opportunity? Being represented in the Boardroom? Do we know whether our organisations truly value, develop, and learn from women, or whether we unwittingly treat them as ‘less than’?

If the answer to that is ‘we don’t know’, then, what women really need, is for us to turn back from any OTHER form of IWD event and focus on tackling THAT. AND to be open and brave enough to go public about what we are doing. It matters. It sends the right message. It is a powerful first step towards true allyship - allyship that stares down inequality right betwen the eyes and says ‘I see you’ and ‘I’m prepared to feel the pain with you’.

Before it’s too late, can we pivot our IWD event plans to focus on DATA? Beginning with our own? Or use evidence or research that exists outside our own organisations? Can we role-model the importance of data as part of our IWD events?

IMPACT – How do the facts impact women’s experiences?

Data, though, is only half of the problem. It’s one thing to look at the data, but, when we see what the data is telling us, how do we know the IMPACT that it has on women’s lives within our own organisations and within wider society? Have we been making assumptions? Have we been looking for solutions in the wrong place? Have we been asking the right questions?

What does it matter if we discover that our experienced female employees are leaving in their droves when they hit 50? So-what if we realise it’s only the men who speak in our WhatsApp groups? What is the relevance of women not returning to work after maternity leave? Why should we care if we can see that teenage girls aren’t using our social clubs and sports grounds?

We can only understand the IMPACT of these things if we make an effort to find out. And to find out, we need to ask women, listen to their responses and be prepared to take action when we understand how the impact of inequality affects everyone.

It seems to me that IWD is the perfect opportunity to hold these conversations, highlight these issues, find collaborative solutions to problems, and put women front and central to how we address the impact of inequality on their lives and the lives of their families and communities.

Before it’s too late, can we adjust our IWD event plans to incorporate impact? Whether we re-shape them into discussions or collaborative workshops, whether we celebrate our achievements of overcoming inequality or showcase the success of others, how can we re-focus on the importance of understanding impact?

Summary

We are all at different stages of the WILLINGNESS - DATA - IMPACT journey, but wherever we are, we ALL have the opportunity to use our IWD event, to #ActivateAllyship . There is still time to re-shape your event to incorporate something along these lines. Where are you on the journey?

WILLINGNESS

1. Do I WANT my event to actually make a difference? To be part of the solution to creating equality for women?

2. Am I prepared to be TRANSPARENT about my data, my findings or my survey responses? To give the message that I/We are willing to learn and to find solutions? Accepting that showing our ‘warts and all’ might be uncomfortable but – no pain no gain?

DATA

3. Do I REALLY understand the situation within the context of my organisation, network, community, or company? And, if not, am I prepared to find out?

4. Do I know the ‘problem’ my IWD event is attempting to address? Do I have data, statistics or information that I can draw on?

5. Do I know how I could measure whether my event has made a change?

IMPACT

6. Am I prepared to LEARN ABOUT THE IMPACT of bias in my context? In order that we/I can be part of a solution that benefits everyone?

7. Can I use my event to (a) show my willingness to be an ally, (b) start to collect or publish my data, (c) understand impact or (d) find solutions to problems?

8. Can I use my event to showcase the impact of change from somewhere else?

Marianne Storey

www.storeyland.co.uk I @StoreylandCoaching

@DorsetWomenCICChair I @DorsetWomen I dorsetwomen.org.uk

#1 International Women's Day 2024 -Why #InspireInclusion does not go far enough.

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 17:56:14 GMT

International Women's Day 2024

Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

#1 of 3: Why #InspireInclusion is not enough.

International Women’s Day (IWD) every year has me eye-rolling and cheering in equal measure. Whilst I see this day as an important opportunity to celebrate women and to educate those who don’t understand why we need it; I also see it as a day of exasperation.

But this year, the theme #InspireInclusion has me face-palming with frustration. And I challenge my colleagues in #Dorset to DO BETTER than this.

Every year, I wonder, really, whether most IWD events that take place, ACTUALLY make any difference to women. And this year I have less hope than usual. Because the chosen theme just, to me, sends completely the wrong message.

‘Inclusion’ suggests that women should be ‘allowed’ to participate, to take part, to join in or to have a turn.

And, frankly, I thought we were passed those out-dated and unhelpful concepts.

Women are EXTRAORDINARY. They are powerful, problem solving, multi-tasking, inspirational, capable, tenacious, unfathomably adaptable and creative human beings. Only within the acceptance of the concept of a ‘patriarchy’ with jurisdiction over women, could anyone suggest the notion of some'thing' deciding whether or not to ‘include’ women.

And I, for one, don’t want to be included in that set-up – I want something new, something explosive, something real and hard and exciting, something transformative and sensational. Something where women step up from a long-established power imbalance and take up their rightful places (wherever they are), alongside, shoulder to shoulder with men where they have ALWAYS rightfully belonged. Something where our skills, talents, intuition, flexibility, determination and extraordinary insight are recognised and valued and where women are no longer seen as ‘less than’.

Now don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the notion of ‘equity’ and how not all women are as able (situationally) as others to rebel against the concept of HAVING to be included, or in as privileged a position as me to be able to rant about it.

And that, to me, is why we DO need days like IWD -because in many places, women ‘being included’ is the very bottom of the ladder in terms of tackling inequality and considering equitable solutions. But it is ALSO why we must take VERY SERIOUSLY the responsibility we have in making the best use of the campaign. And why, those of us who CAN, must.

I suspect that what most women really NEED organisations to do, may differ hugely from what ACTUALLY happens. And the women I know simply don’t have time for tokenism and box ticking.

What we really need is change. No, that’s not correct – what we REALLY need is for EVERYONE to understand WHY change needs to happen and then to come together around us, to do something collaboratively about it. Brilliant as we are, women CANNOT create the change they need on their own. And nor should we try.

And so, in my view, unless our IWD 2024 events actually contribute to that change, what (who) are they for and who, really is the audience? Most importantly, are they a good use of the time of very busy women?

Is it too hard?

It seems to me that the reasons why IWD events are not always about striving for the real change that women ACTUALLY need, is because change is hard and painful. Especially when not everyone wants change, not everyone understands why change is necessary, or when many people benefit from NOT changing.

And that is why, IMHO, if we really want IWD, and associated events, to have a proper impact, and not just be a source of irritation, those of us who organise them, take part in them or promote them, need to be prepared to tackle the hard and the painful. And if we are not, then, frankly, most women would rather we didn’t bother.

Allyship

Being prepared to tackle hard and painful in the interest of change (especially if you don’t really understand it or it doesn’t necessarily affect your own life) is my understanding of ALLYSHIP.

Allyship is the brilliant word that embraces the concept of ‘not all women’ and ‘not all men’ and harnesses the power of those who ‘can’ to empower those who ‘cannot’. In the interest of everyone.

The truth is that inequality for women is EVERYBODY’s business. Because everyone suffers when women and girls don’t have the same opportunities of freedoms, wealth, choices and representation as men and boys. Families are less resilient, communities less coherent, systems less efficient and countries, companies and commerce are ALL less successful. Women cannot solve this problem alone, and neither should they have to.

And so, for me, change cannot happen without Allyship – and so, unless our IWD 2024 events show ALLYSHIP, then, again, what’s the point?

Summary

IWD is an important day and an opportunity to use a platform to communicate important messages about tackling inequality. So, let’s not waste it.

#InspireInclusion, whilst being necessary at the most basic level of tackling inequality, on the whole, perpetuates the notion that there is ‘something’ better than women that has some authority to ‘include’ or ‘not include’. And to me, this is harmful not helpful.

Women need change. And a critical part of that change is Allyship.

#Dorset societies need IWD events that have, as their primary aim, #ActivatingAllyship as a vehicle for real change. We can do better. The subsequent blogs in this series tell you how.

Marianne Storey

www.storeyland.co.uk I @StoreylandCoaching

@DorsetWomenCICChair I @DorsetWomen I dorsetwomen.org.uk

Power #4 of 4

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 17:34:35 GMT

Women and Men - How Do We Fix the Power Imbalance Between Them?

#4 Changing the power imbalance for women.

Only when we understand the components of power imbalance can we start to look at changing it. And, as with other examples of a power imbalance such as humans and animals, there are components of the power imbalance between men and women that can be addressed on both sides of the equation.

In writing these blogs, I hope to give insight into the conditions needed to start to change the imbalance of power between women (all oppressed groups [not all women are oppressed]) and men (all oppressors [not all oppressors are men, not all men are oppressors]). And I do that, of course, to improve the experiences of women everywhere, but also in the hope that women can develop a new and positive relationship with the word POWER.

Because it is my belief that women are incredibly powerful beings. And, for the world to benefit from, and not to be intimidated by, that power, we must ALL become more comfortable with the concept. Women because, if we see power as harmful, we cannot step into and own our power. And Men, because if men see women’s power as negative, or a threat to the power imbalance that they perceive to benefit them, there will continue to be conflict between the sexes. And that benefits no-one. Including men.

Ultimately, if we can ALL accept that we ALL have collective power - and that the more connected we are, the more power we can generate to bring peace and stability in the world.

So how do we do that?

In a power-imbalanced world where men ARE more powerful (physically and socially) – how can women become less vulnerable to harm?

I believe there are two sides to the equation that need to be addressed.

Women shift from being vulnerable to harm > to resilience against it.
Men gain power maturity.

1. Women gain resilience against vulnerability to harm.

In order for women to become less vulnerable to harm (by harm here I mean having less influence, less wealth, greater barriers to advancement, disproportionate burdens of parenthood, greater likelihood to be in poverty, greater likelihood to be victims of violent crime etc), (in the absence of the willing and conscious relinquishing of power from men with power immaturity), it would seem logical that they need to gain resources from elsewhere.

- Allies. Allyship from men who have power maturity can co-create a new society for women and girls that allows women to thrive and develop their power. One that benefits everyone.

- Each Other. The power of a group of women is mind-blowingly transformational. And we need more of it. Because when we do, women see to it that EVERYONE wins.

- Benefactors / Donors / Enablers / ‘Saviours’. Resources provided by those who have them and the maturity to see the benefit of directing them towards vulnerable groups, can be life changing. And benefits everyone.

- Beneficial societal shifts of opinion or change in ‘norms’ or events. Things ARE changing positively for women and girls, And as it does so, the context for progress will change. But things like wars and politics also change opinions in opposing directions. Some of these things seem out of our control. But they are NOT. Those of us who live in democratic societies MUST use our vote to ensure societal attitudes shift in the right direction. For everyone.

- Leadership / Role Modelling / Success Elsewhere. There is no doubt that ‘We cannot be who we cannot see’. Visible, fearless, female role models can change the ambition of others.

2. Men develop Power Maturity

As in any power imbalance, the powerful either have Power Maturity or they don’t – which dictates the extent to which they (a) understand and (b) can relinquish their power for the greatest good. - or not.

Also, in any power imbalance, the Powerful WITH Power Maturity are NOT the group of people who need consideration. By definition, they can already use their maturity to address the problem.

And so, in case of men who DO NOT have Power Maturity, we must consider that, they two, fall into 2 groups – they are either Conscious or Unconscious of their Power Immaturity

The consciously immature fall, again, in to two groups. One being those who dislike the harm they create who are, of course, the easiest group to consider. They recognise the need to relinquish some of their power and privilege, but perhaps don’t know how to do it. They want to be allies and are willing to understand how to step aside and enable positive discrimination to women and girls who, for too long, have been harmed by an imbalance of Power.

The other consciously immature group are, adversely, the hardest and most dangerous group to consider. They are the group who know they inflict harm with their Power and continue to do so anyway. The harm in itself, fuels the Power. They have no interest in becoming allies, and benefit from perpetuating the power imbalance in their favour.

The unconsciously immature, are also a hard group to consider, but, I believe it is THIS group for whom there is the most potential for change and are where we should firstly focus our attention. In lacking insight into their own immaturity, they cannot see the harm they cause, they cannot acknowledge their role in it and they can only understand the benefit to themselves of the Power they hold. But until they become conscious of their power immaturity and choose to ignore it, there is still hope that they can be influenced.

Much like, on the other side of the equation where groups of women who are particularly vulnerable to harm need ‘others’ to intervene, THIS group of men ALSO need others to intervene. They are unable, or unlikely to self-generate change or insight without external input.

- Education. Power Maturity can only be gained if an ‘other’ agency provides information and education to enable the growth and to give greater understanding of what is possible.

- Role Models & Leadership. Seeing inspirational people do things differently can open up possibility. But only if the BENEFIT is clear. Only role models who can demonstrate the POSITIVE impact of gaining Power Maturity that leads to relinquishing power can inspire others to make the same shift.

- Force. Others can come to the defence of the vulnerable by taking out the Powerful (different to empowering the powerless). An immediate response to this, of course, is that force is not usually desirable. But perhaps we can consider how national policy, relentless policing, societal consequences, men calling out men, or improved justice systems could be relevant.

- Negotiation. Data, statistics, research, information and personal experiences are all important tools in providing evidence for how relinquishing power can create greater good, and benefit for men. Only with these tools can men develop Power Maturity and choose to relinquish power in exchange for something else of value.

SUMMARY

We are all affected by the power imbalance between men and women. And so, addressing the problem benefits everyone.

As with all power imbalance, there are two sides of the equation to address.

On one side, Women need to be able to develop resilience to the vulnerabilities of being harmed. And, on the other, men need to develop Power Maturity in order to relinquish power so that less harm is caused, and women can develop their own power.

In both cases, each party need EXTERNAL forces or resources to make a shift in the right direction. For women, this looks like allyship, supporting each other, donors, and changes in societal ‘norms’. For men this looks like education, enforcement of the consequences of ‘unacceptable’, and negotiation.

In both cases, what is needed is clear, visible, positive, leadership and role modelling.

And whose responsibility is that? It is the responsibility of those who have influence over how this power balance is portrayed, perpetuated and tolerated – Leaders, Media Platforms, Politicians and Law Makers and Enforcers.

But it is also the responsibility of EVERYONE. We can all be allies, support each other, donate to relevant campaigning organisations, change our tolerances of ‘social norms’, educate those around us, support role models, use our vote wisely, shop, consume and watch with discernment.

It’s time for change. And we all have a part to play.

This series of Blogs attempts to tackle how we, individually, and as a society, can start to redress the imbalance of harmful gender power that has been part of our culture for so long. By understanding how this imbalance plays out between men and women, we can start to address the harm that it causes – for men as well as for women. And for ALL our families and wider society.

#1 of 3 Why do so many women hate using the word Power to describe themselves?

#2 of 3 Components of Power, Vulnerability and Harm

#3 of 3 How Do we Re-balance Power to Cause Less Harm

#4 Women and Power

I work with women to help them regain their power. Individually and in Society.

If you would like to regain yours, email me at marianne@storeyland.co.uk

Power #3 of 4

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 20:31:11 GMT

Can We Re-Balance the Imbalance of Power that Causes Harm?

Can we re-balance the imbalance of Power that causes harm? And if so How?

If a power imbalance that causes harm, is to be re-balanced, there needs to be a shift in one or both of the two components of the imbalance:

The powerless would need to become less vulnerable and gain power
The powerful would need to relinquish or lose power

But importantly - the goal is not necessary to achieve a BALANCE. The best outcome for both parties may be to actually REVERSE the balance so it is still imbalanced but in the opposite direction.

This diagram shows how and why using the example of humans and animals.

1. The Powerless Gain Power and Become Less Vulnerable to Harm

In order for the powerless to become less vulnerable to harm, (in the absence of the willing and conscious relinquishing of power from the Powerful), they need to gain resources from somewhere. By definition, the most powerless and vulnerable things - imagine a small animal facing an adult human - cannot simply generate power without some external force or assistance.

Allies: Allies can empower, assist, educate, advocate.

Each Other: The power of the group is greater than the sum of its parts.

Benefactors / Donors / Enablers / ‘Saviours’: Resources provided by others to and for the powerless to power up themselves.

Beneficial societal shifts of opinion or change in ‘norms’ or events: Unexpected changes in circumstances can shift the balance in favour of the powerless.

Leadership / Role Modelling / Success Elsewhere: A vision for empowerment has to come from somewhere.

2. The Powerful Relinquish or Lose Power

People with Power Immaturity are either Conscious of Unconscious of their immaturity.

The consciously immature fall in to two groups. One being those who dislike the harm they create and have some insight into their inability to change, but do, at least, understand the need for them to do so. And the other who value the benefit of the power they hold and the harm they cause and have no desire or incentive to change. The harm, in itself, fuels the Power. This group are, of course, the most problematic.

The unconsciously immature, however, are also a hard group to consider. In lacking insight into their own immaturity, they cannot see the harm they cause, they cannot acknowledge their role in it and they can only understand the benefit to themselves of the Power they hold. Until they become conscious of their power immaturity and choose to ignore it, there is still hope that they can be influenced to change.

Much like the Powerless, people with Power Immaturity are unlikely to, or cannot, by definition, self-generate the change or insight needed for them to change. And similarly, require intervention or resources from 'others' if there is any hope for them to relinquish or reduce their power and subsequent harm.

Education: Change can only happen if you know what is happening, what needs to change, and what is possible.

Role Models: Seeing others do it differently opens up possibility.

Force: Others can come to the defence of the vulnerable by taking out the Powerful (different to empowering the powerless).

Negotiation: Relinquishing power in exchange for something else of value.

People with Power Maturity also fall into the same two groups depending on whether they are conscious or unconscious of their maturity. Either way, their maturity enables them to use information and insight to relinquish power to end the harm they are causing, re-balance the imbalance and reap the benefits of doing so whether by conscious decision or otherwise.

SUMMARY

Understanding how to re-balance a power imbalance that causes harm requires us to understand the components at play. To understand how the vulnerable or powerless can gain more power or how those with conscious or unconscious Power Immaturity can learn, change, and relinquish or lose power.

The goal may not be BALANCE but to actually reverse the imbalance to achieve overall benefit for all involved.

But what does all this mean for WOMEN?

Read my final Blog in this series about how we, individually, and as a society, can start to redress the imbalance of harmful gender power that has been part of our culture for such a long time. By understanding the components of harmful power and vulnerability, and the interventions that can address both, we can start to build the resources and infrastructure required to benefit everyone.

#1 of 3 Why do so many women hate using the word Power to describe themselves?

#2 of 3 Components of Power, Vulnerability and Harm

#4 Women and Power

I work with women to help them regain their power. Individually and in Society.

If you would like to regain yours, email me at marianne@storeyland.co.uk

Power #2 of 4

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 16:33:24 GMT

Power Maturity & the Components of Harm and Power

#2 Components of Harm and Power

Power, per se, does not necessarily cause harm. And yet, it often does.

So, what makes the Powerful harmful?

I believe there are two components to consider:

1. The Emotional Intelligence or Maturity of the person(s) holding the Power – “Power Maturity”; and

2. The level of vulnerability of the Powerless person(s) impacted by the Power

In short, the less Power Maturity the Powerful person(s) has/have, vs the more vulnerably powerless the Powerless person(s) is/are, - the more harm is caused.

1. Power Maturity

I believe that Power Maturity comes from

a willingness and ability to develop insight into the power dynamic, the harm being caused (if any) and the person(s) roles (and responsibility) within it,
emotional intelligence,
access to data/information that defines the impact of the imbalance, and
an understanding of the benefits to themselves or wider society of addressing the situation.

Power immaturity, conversely, can be defined by:

a refusal, denial, or inability, to develop insight into the power dynamic or accept that the Powerful person(s) have a role or responsibility to reduce or end the harm caused by it
emotional immaturity
absence of data or information that can show the impact of the harm or imbalance
a lack of willingness, or absence of ability to understand the benefits to themselves or wider society of reducing/removing the harm.

2. Degrees of vulnerability of Powerlessness

I believe that the more powerless a thing, or person(s) is, the greater the potential for harm when at the mercy of the Powerful. A small animal, for example, has a greater potential for experiencing harm from an adult human, than another adult human.

The importance of this point, is that, if vulnerability can be reduced, there is hope that a re-balance of power is not necessarily ONLY in the hands of the powerful. And that is important.

SUMMARY

In attempting to consider how a power imbalance can be redressed, it is important to understand the components in play: Power Maturity Vs Vulnerability of Powerlessness .

But can we do anything about it? The answer is YES. The further Blogs in this series describe how we CAN.

Read on.

#1 of 3 Why do so many women hate using the word Power to describe themselves?

#3 of 3 How can we re-balance the imbalance of harmful Power?

I work with women to help them regain their power. Individually and in Society.

If you would like to regain yours, email me at marianne@storeyland.co.uk

Power #1 of 4

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 15:28:46 GMT

Why do so many women dislike using the word Power to describe themselves?

#1 Why do we hate the word anyway?

When I ask women if they are powerful, or if they want to be powerful, they invariably say NO with a gusto that almost makes me laugh. Many women physically recoil at the thought of using the word powerful to describe themselves.

Why is that?

I have two theories.

1. We automatically assume that POWER means HARM.

But of course, when we stop and think about the word in a more considered way, we can see that power does NOT always mean harm.

The dictionary definition of the word power is “The ability or capacity to do something or act in a particular way, the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behaviour of others or the course of events, or move or travel with great speed or force.”

None of those definitions imply harm – and yet, most women I speak to viscerally and sub-consciously jump straight to sensing harm in the word.

I believe that this is simply from decades of women (and other disadvantaged groups) being harmed by an imbalance of power in the hands of people who failed to see the harm it was causing, and the subsequent conditioning of people and infrastructure as a result.

2. The duality of POWER means there must also be POWERLESSNESS.

We live in a world of duality. Which means that power cannot exist in a vacuum. Wherever there is Power, there is Powerlessness .

I believe that it is THIS that most women actually find abhorrent. i.e. The fact that, power that causes harm, by definition, causes harm to someone or something that is powerless against it.

When most women consider this concept, their empathy becomes almost overwhelming. And, in solidarity with powerless victims, women build a negative view of the powerful. EVEN if harm hasn’t necessarily taken place.

SUMMARY

For two reasons, women often hate to use the word Powerful to describe themselves.

We don’t want to be associated with a word that we are viscerally conditioned to assume means harm, AND, we don’t want to be associated with causing harm to anyone or thing that is powerless against it.

And so that it what this Blog series is about

- The imbalance of power that causes harm...

- In the hands of people who fail to see (or ignore) the harm it is causing

- The subsequent conditioning of people and infrastructure as a result; and

- What can be done about it?

Read on.

#2 of 3 Emotionally Intelligent Power and Power Maturity

#3 of 3 Can we re-balance the imbalance? If so, how?

I work with women to help them regain their power. Individually and in society.

If you would like to regain yours, email me at marianne@storeyland.co.uk

Barbie - An Opportunity Taken or Missed?

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 15:26:50 GMT

Barbie - An Opportunity Taken or Missed?

As a 21st century type of feminist - i.e. one that believes a society of equality is one based on inclusion, allyship, accountability, responsibility and role modelling, I should be thrilled that such a mainstream movie is putting the feminist agenda front and centre. And I am - mostly.

Societal Shift

Mostly, I am pleased that society has shifted enough in its intolerance of gender inequality that such a film has been devoured by girls and women across the globe. That alone is reassuring and inspires me to continue the work we are doing to create a #DorsetWomensCharter, and the work I am doing with individual women to become the fullest, freest possible versions of themselves. It seems the time is NOW and that is nothing short of awesome.

I applaud the narrative from the 'real world' characters in the movie who describe how women and girls are 'done' with the unhelpful 'norms' the original Barbie purported. And who long for a society where 'norms' are ACTUALLY 'norms' - where bodies, mental health, abilities, aspirations, voices, responsibilities, faces, identities and roles are not defined by outdated views of 'femininity'.

Funny Not Funny

I also applaud the lighthearted way in which frustrations about women's inequality are expressed in the movie. That's not to say that women's inequality is a laughing matter, far from it. But, sometimes it's the only way to survive it, and the movie handles it well. Frankly, most women have such 'inequality fatigue' that they can barely be bothered to laugh about it anymore. So I’m grateful to Greta Gerwig for giving us a reason to do so.

Who is the movie for anyway?

On the other hand, I can't help thinking the marketing of this movie is pointing to the wrong audience. Women, girls and all people who experience gender discrimination, already KNOW the messages portrayed in this movie. Surely the people who need to actually hear these messages are people who don't understand gender discrimination? Is a suffocating barrage of pinkness going to attract the people who really need to hear these messages? I wonder?

The ending - spoiler alert!

I also have a problem with the so-called feminist ending to the movie and the message this is giving to girls. I don't think the mockery of the 'patriarchy' or 'men' is helpful, since that is absolutely NOT what modern feminism is about, particularly when the world is experiencing a crisis in men's mental health.

The film suggests that women 'win' the battle 'against' men and that, to me, is not the desire of most women, especially the enlightened, authentic, emotionally intelligent, resourceful and determined ones with whom I surround myself. So I say this to the portrayal of women 'winning' over men - “Not in my name” as goes the saying these days.

An alternative ending - an opportunity missed?

The alternative, for me, is a 'win' where the women work WITH not AGAINST anyone who exerts an imbalance or abuse of influence or power. To educate them, with data, evidence and case studies, about the impact on EVERYONE when people experience repression, bias or inequality.

A 'win', for me, would look like a co-designed solution that embraces sex and gender difference, plays to everyone's strengths and represents the views of all the people it has an impact upon.

Women are capable of better than this.

Women are more than capable of providing compassionate, solution-orientated, focussed, emotionally intelligent leadership to finding a collaborative solution and most of the men I know would be willing allies and collaborators.

So why is this movie portraying the concept of winning and losing? Perhaps, because we have experienced a gendered imbalance of power for so long, we don’t actually know what a balance of power would look like? Stereotypes, complacency, complicity, enabling and entrenchment are all at play and require time, energy, responsibility and determination to break down. It’s my view that this movie missed an opportunity here, and its lack of a better ending - one that we ALL deserve, is evidence that THAT ending would not be so successful in making money.

Inspirational or Unhelpful?

So, while this movie is fantastic in sparking these conversations in homes far and wide, I wish that it had been an opportunity to inspire women and girls to lead a NEW kind of solution rather than reinforcing the belief that gender equality is a fight that has to be won by one side or the other.

It is not.

A Different Solution for Dorset

The Dorset Women’s Charter sets out 10 evidence-informed Standards across the full spectrum of life that women (and non-binary and gender fluid people) should be able to expect from life. From inclusion, health, safety and politics to education, economics, sport and the arts. It has inclusion and collaboration as core values and offers solutions to system-wide challenges.

Read more here and, if you like what we’re doing, say “I’m In!” here .

#Barbie #GretaGerwig #GenderEquality #Feminism #ThirdWaveFeminism #FourthWaveFeminism #Women #LGBTQIWomen #LGBTWomen #DorsetEquality #PrejuduceFreeDorset #DorsetWomen #WomenInLeadership #Womanhood #Femininity #FemininePower #TimeForChange #WomensVoices

91d6e969

#3 International Women's Day 2024 -Event Suggestions

International Women's Day 2024

﻿ Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

#2 International Women's Day 2024 -Why We need to #ActivateAllyship

International Women's Day 2024

﻿ Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

#1 International Women's Day 2024 -Why #InspireInclusion does not go far enough.

International Women's Day 2024

﻿ Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

Power #4 of 4

Women and Men - How Do We Fix the Power Imbalance Between Them?

Power #3 of 4

Can We Re-Balance the Imbalance of Power that Causes Harm?

Power #2 of 4

Power Maturity & the Components of Harm and Power

Power #1 of 4

Why do so many women dislike using the word Power to describe themselves?

Barbie - An Opportunity Taken or Missed?

Barbie - An Opportunity Taken or Missed?

Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.

Why #InspireInclusion doesn't go far enough. And what to do about it.